I actually started writing this blog post a few weeks back but then, funnily enough, this week our favorite former first lady Michelle Obama sat down with journalist Robin Roberts for an exclusive interview with ABC. Amongst the many great things she shared about her marriage, what stood out to me most was her stating “What I learned about myself was that my happiness was up to me.” I feel like as we grown we continually learn about ourselves which is phenomenal.
Though this also connects greatly with my post as I thought what things can we start to build in our single season just before we get you’re your happily ever after marriage or lifelong relationship?
They say behind every strong man is a stronger woman though this post isn’t just for girls it’s for guys also. Here’s a small list of 4 great things you can build on while your single:
- Gain clarity on your purpose – being single is a great time to work on yourself and build towards your goals. I feel like in spending alone time with yourself you are able to really listen to your gut and what direction God is taking you too. Working on yourself involves numerous things such as going to the gym, cooking, spending your time volunteering or even learning an instrument basically anything that you can do outside of your job and studying things that build your character and your skill set. Ultimately this should help to get you to a point where you are sure of yourself and what your duty is here on this planet. So once you’ve met your amazing life partner your both ready to build an empire together because you’ve worked on yourselves individually. (and even if you still aren’t sure you’re probably a lot closer to figuring out your purpose it out than you think) I’d like to state that it doesn’t stop there as we all continue to learn, grow and change on a regular basis.
- Get your finances in check – money, investment, debt and salary, the topics surrounding finances are endless and it can be a touchy one for some people. I think it’s important while you’re single to set budgets in places for specific things and know where your money is going. If your single and can’t handle your own finances, how will you even cope when there’s another person in the picture? Please know and understand what you can and can’t afford. Clarity when it comes to money is good! Once again once you fall in love it will make building towards a future a little easier.
- Understanding character (and what it means) –. Through dating, relationships and even friendships you should start seeing a pattern in people, an ongoing consistent or inconsistent theme. You know the saying when someone shows you who they are, believe them? This applies very heavenly here. Your gut never lies. Don’t make the mistake of thinking someone will change their ways after x amount of years when that in actual fact is their character. They may not be a terribly bad person but honestly if it the person you’re dating has you feeling odd. That’s a huge red flag doesn’t ignore it.
- Working on your mental health – A relationship can bring out the best in people which is fantastic. Though without saying too much on this topic because it can be rather sensitive for some. Please make sure you are taking care of yourself mentally and dealing with all your emotions and thoughts in a safe and healthy manner before entering into a relationship.
These are just a few of the many things I think are an important foundation in our single season. Though ultimately make sure that your Intune with yourself before you tune into someone else. Lol
I think Taylor Swift said it best on marieclaire.co.uk when she said “I recommend to all my friends that they be alone for a while. When you’re in Love or dating someone, you filter your life decisions through their eyes. When you spend a few years being who you are, completely unbiased, you can figure out what you actually want.’
I hope you’ve enjoyed reading this post and apply at least on point to your current circumstance. Please share with your loved ones and I’ll be back with another post soon x